to all my CLOSE friends…

October 8, 2008 at 7:02 am (Uncategorized)





now i know… it isn’t actually easy to accept the truth but that’s it. truth is unchangeable. the only thing i can do is to accept it… maybe for now, i’ll accept it but not whole-heartedly but i know that as time passes by… things will be accepted as they are to be… i am very happy for him because he was able to tell the truth to his loved one. well…, how sweet the style he used in attesting his feelings… my only concern was just… i thought he’s gonna tell me personally who this girl is… but it turned out like i have to figure it out through his acts and motions. it was just disappointing on my part because i expected him to tell me personally but… i realized that i should’ve not expected anything… i should’ve been prepared whatever it takes… but sorry… i’m just a person… simple person born to feel the pain… the pain is not relieved easily… it considers time to make it… well…, for me… i should know my limitations… actually, i know them, it’s just that i have been unstoppable of showing what i feel. i should’ve listened to everyone. 

to all my close friends…

sorry if i were insensitive and selfish lately… i was just uncontrolled. sorry if i made you think of me. sorry for being a disturbance. but i am thanking all of you for everything you’ve shared with me. thank you also for understanding. thank you for the patience. if you think i have abused your kindness in any manner…, sorry. i know i tend to overact sometimes… but thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. that’s all i can say.

 

:-)

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why is it so hard to move on?!?

October 3, 2008 at 8:18 pm (Uncategorized)

“…i tend to be reactive and super sensitive when it comes to the beat of my heart… honestly…, my heart beats not as often as the others… but at the time it beats… it’s hard to move on… because when i love… i truly love…”

i am hurting… it is really hard to fall for a friend because the friendship must always be the no. 1 priority. honestly, i am a very jealous person. i tend to get jealous when someone special to me gets closer to somebody else. i am selfish when i love. but i cannot withstand the fact that though i love someone…, i still have to reconsider what others may feel. now, i am on a state of in-love and not. i have coe to realize that i really did an enormous mistake…, not just on a friend but on my closest friends. i was selfish and i am very sorry for an inmature attitude for the past weeks. i was not able to recognize what my friends may feel in every step i do. it was really my fault why some of my friends may wonder why did i change… and this is my reason… though for me now my reason is really unreasonable… i became like this because of the beat of my heart… i’m trying to explain that my heart actually beats like once in a blue moon… i love someone or i give extra importance to someone not as often as the others do but just unusual. this is my problem… when i love someone… it’s very hard for me to move on because i really did love the person though i am supposed to forget about my feelings… still…, it’s very hard to move on from what i recently felt… now, i had started forgetting about my feelings… i tried to promise to myself that i will never again love someone and give all the love i can give… because it is inevitable when the time comes that i already get rid of love from my heart… because i am always giving out love… and even a drop is not returned… i may lost love… but now, i am not afraid because i know that my friends will always be there for me… and though the love i was expecting didn’t come… the love given by my friends will surely be treasured because during the times i need comfort and care… FRIENDS are always there.. ready to listen… and ready to gve advices… i will forget love by now… i should focus my attention to something more crucial for my future… i will feel restless of what i may feel… i will be new in every single way…

NEW ME!!!

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PAANO NA KAYA?

September 20, 2008 at 9:00 am (Uncategorized)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                          

Paano Na Kaya? by Bugoy Drilon
(PDA Season 2 – Scholars Sing Cayabyab)
Music & Lyrics by Ryan Cayabyab
Lyricsin.com

Paano nga ba napasukan ang gusot na ito?
Di naman akalaing magbabago
Ang pgtingin sa’yo oooh….

Mula nang makilala ka umikot ang mundo ko
Di na kayang ilihim at itago
Ang nararamdamang ito ooooh….

CHORUS:
Paano na kaya?
Di sinasadya
Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko
Ikaw pa?
Paano na kaya?
Di sinisadya
Ba’t nahihiya ang puso ko
Hirap nang umibig sa isang kaibigan
Di masabi ang nararamdaman

Paano na kaya?
Kung malaman ang damdamin at di mo tanggapin
Di ko yata matitiis mawala ka
Kahit isang saglit man lang oooohhh…

REPEAT CHORUS

Paano na kaya?

At kung magkataong ito’y malaman mo
Sana naman tanggapin mo oooohhhhh….
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng kaibigan ko
Ikaw pa?

Paano na kaya?
Di sinisadya
Ba’t nahihiya ang puso ko
Hirap nang umibig sa isang kaibigan
At baka hindi maintindihan
Paano na kaya? ooohhhh….

 

 

this song means a lot for me… i have this inexplicable feeling towards someone… and apparently a good friend of mine… it is indeed really hard to tell that person that you have feelings for that person… well… instead of telling that person what i really feel… i chose to be in silence just to preserve the friendship we had built… a friend told me that there are 2 reasons why a person moves away from another person: 1 is because you hate the person and 2 is because you are afraid to totally fall for that person… well…, simple to answer… i am on a state of neutrality… i’m on the middle… i still can’t decide… and surely, it would be very hard for me to distinguish what i genuinely feel…


:-(  

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HAPI BDAY TO ME!!!

September 12, 2008 at 8:28 am (Uncategorized)

whew!!!

september 10 is one of the greatest days my classmates now in college had given me…

this is what happened…

my birthday was on 6th of september, that was a saturday. my classmates just texted me to greet me and i did really appreciate those text messages i received. suddenly… one of our classmates celebrated her bday nmn nung 9… they gave her gifts tpos akla daw nung mga klsm8s ko… ngttmpo ako dhl ako wlang gift nung bday ko… haha!!!

after classes nung september 10… 2 of my classmates asked me if i could accompany them to the dean’s office for a certain reason… and eventually, the blindfolded me thinking they have something i won’t really like but i trusted them and we walked along the hallway with my eyes blindfolded and we entered a room with music… and as i remove the hanky, i was in our room and my classmates were celebrating for me…

haha!!! as in i was totally surprised. i never expected anything that way but… my clasmates are truly thoughtful and real friends…

they gave me a gift that i want… hehe… HAVIES… haha!!! 

whew!!!

that was such a wonderful day… a day that i will surely keep and cherish for the rest of my life…

:-)  

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An insult for a Thomasian?!?

September 11, 2008 at 12:36 pm (Uncategorized)

i think all of you either thomasian of not should read this post. this was just passed to me by a fellow thomasian… just react upon reading… tnx.
PAPAYAG BA NAMAN KAYO DITO MGA THOMASIANS?
A “GAY” College student, Matt Quintos, a writing major from Ateneo, shared HIS/HER experience on visiting HIS/HER friend in UST.___________________________

 

“blue and yellow”

fuck talaga, nanakawan ako.

yesterday i made punta to the birthday party of my high school friend who is currently making aral sa ust ngayon. syempre im not gonna go na sana kasi puro mga friends nya from ust yung nandun, ede im gonna be put out of place lang from their uber mediocre culture, pero sumama na rin ako out of shame para sa friend kong magtatampo raw sakin if hindi ako pumunta. besides, birthday naman nya so i made bigay na. and sabi nung isa pa naming high school barkada, she’s gonna go rin daw so may kasama naman ako. eh fuck, hindi nagpunta. so ayun, na-op rin ako sa mga super mediocre na thomasians, at kinailangan ko talagang magtiis sa sobrang tangang kultura ng mga hampaslupa.

and guess what, speaking of hampaslupa, ninakawan ba naman ako ng mga pakshet na bobong hindi naman nakapasa ng acet?! i didnt bring food kasi dahil nga sobrang biglaan lang yung invitation ng friend ko, but if ever napaaga siya, i will make volunteer pa talaga para sagutin yung catering. so i told her about it. “bhe,” i said, bhe ang tawagan namin kasi we used to role-play as lovers nung hayskul, “wala akong dalang food eh. okay lang ba?”

she told me na okay lang naman daw. and then i made banat a joke, “sorry bhe ah, lam mo kasi hindi ako sanay magdala ng food sa mga outings, so i made sure na lang that i made dala a lot of money.”
actually, it’s not a joke. as usual, marami talaga akong pera. around seven hundred yata. i know that’s still kinda sad for a super talino and super mayamang atenista like me, pero since we’re gonna go to a sobrang mumurahing resort lang naman nearby and since super mumurahin lang ng mga thomasians, i thought it’s not a bad amount na.

im so fucking sure talaga na may pera ako nun. kasi mom gave me five hundred bucks before she left home for work (my mom manages our own technology company nga pala). plus yung halos three-hundred na natira from last week’s allowance, i have about eight hundred. eh syempre i had to communicate with my high school friend. but then she cant text me kasi i’m smart and she’s using sun cellular (my god, imagine that! how cheap. kinagat ang super amoy-araw na offer ng pang-promding network. buhay-squatter talaga). so i had to buy that 50-peso load na seven days unlimited texts (which is so, oh my god, kadiri talaga). ede ayan, halos seven hundred na yung money ko.

eh malay ko ba naman na while i made that joke, meron palang thomasian who was making pakinig to me. well of course makikinig talaga sya sakin. atenista ako eh. whatever comes out of my mouth is so full of brilliant ideas. well anyway, ayun. so habang we were making langoy to the eww so init na tubig dahil siguro nagdisperse na yung heat from those super kadiring putikang thomasian bodies, may mga naiwan (leftovers) na thomasians dun sa table where we made lagay our bags. and im sure, someone was making panood to me while i took off my shirt to make pakita my super attractive atenean body and i made lagay my authentic tommy hilfiger wallet sa bag ko. and then yun, while i was making tiis talaga na wag masuka dun sa tubig out of respect na lang sa high school friend kong may birthday kahit na diring-diring na talaga me to those retards in the pool, one of those cock-sucking thomasians made bukas my bag and stole my money. so fucking kakainis.

oh well, wala naman akong evidence pero common sense na lang na sila yun. mahirap lang sila eh. i didnt make hanap na kung who among them yung nagnakaw ng money ko. i mean, thomasians are poor fucked up pitsqueaks who are so uhaw sa tubig españa (uste), just like what my super brilliant fil12 profs say when they talk about post-modernism and marxism (i bet none of those stupidong thomasians know what im talking about). you know, yung mga super poor na mga anak-putik like them are sometimes left without a choice other than making nakaw on other people’s money, so instead of making galit to them dahil baka mamaya kung ano pang super smart na salita ang lumabas from my purely atenean mouth, i just thought na it’s my way of helping poor people.

although syempre, i also felt pagkainis for them. i mean, we ateneans, even though we’re the smartest people in the world, we have feelings too. there was a time nga talaga na gusto ko na sanang makipag-fist fight with them. they’re so mayabang kasi eh, despite the fact that i made tiis to my own emotions, cuz we ateneans are not making padala to our urges. we use our brains. there’s this thomasian guy who thinks he’s so darn fucking hot that while i was making shower in the (duh) shower, he walked around naked ba naman? i cant make paniwala nga how he managed to be that confident about himself. well of course i didnt look. i mean, we ateneans always have bigger members. pero the nakakainis na part here is he was like making lakas his boses, “oy maghuhubad ako ah. tangina pare pakialam ko sa titi mo meron din ako nyan. ganun nga kami sa locker room ng boys sa ust eh, lahat kami nakahubo.”

so mediocre talaga. he’s like making parinig to me pa talaga?! kaya nga i got even more disgusted eh. i mean, we ateneans, even though we’re guys? we dont just go around the public naked cuz our bodies are so mamahalin. like, if you make your body public, it’s so cheap. we ateneans have always been told through our jesuit, catholic, filipino education that our body is the temple of the holy spirit. no wonder sobrang babang uri ng mga people ang mga thomasians.

sigh.. they’re so grabe talaga. of course i didn’t make sermon on him na kasi he’s gonna have access pa to quality ateneo education. pero im never gonna go out na talaga with those dimwitted cocksuckers. hay naku, thomasians… they so fucking make chupa to my atenean dick. kaya nga bagay na bagay talaga silang magchampion sa uaap season 69 eh.

siguro it’s just that we ateneans aren’t in the same dumb stupid boat like the thomasians. if that happened, maghahalo ang mga kulay namin. result? green. away talaga to…
“god is a thomasian”
since napag-usapan na rin lang natin ang mga thomasians sa previous blog post ko, i remembered tuloy the time when (confetti made of recycled manila paper) ust finally won the championship against (fireworks imported from hawaii and a red carpet from hollywood) ateneo, may isa na naman akong high school friend galing sa eww so mabahong uste na nagyabang sakin tungkol sa championship nilang mga chuapero.

habang pinag-ayos ko ng kama yung muchacha naming graduate ng nursing sa ust kasi matutulog na ko nun, may tatak pa man din ng ateneo yung bedsheet ko pati yung mga pillows, nagtext yung high school friend ko. knowing na sa ateneo ako nag-aaral, i mean.. sa batch kasi namin ng about 100 people, ako lang ang nakapasa ng ateneo, yung anim sa eww-so-mabaho-rin na up, yung iba sa ust, yung iba sa skwelahan ng mga berdeng baka na may beri-beri pa yata kaya naninilaw yung isang gilid (feu yata yung name ng school, di ko kilala eh), tas yung iba sa mga pipichuging schools na lang from all around the corner, ako lang *ahem* ako lang ang kapasa ng ateneo. and that happens in real life (duh, nangyari na nga sakin eh). out of about 100 high school graduates, isa lang sa kanila ang nakakapasa ng ateneo. pag bumagsak, dun sila sa mga less competent schools.

so anyway, knowing na ako nga lang sa batch namin ang nakapag-aral sa ateneo, he texted me. he was making asar to me daw na nanalo sila. of course, on my part, ang yabang ng dating nya. but then i realized, thomasian to, nagpapapansin lang, naghahanap lang ng dahilan para itext ng isang atenistang katulad ko para i-adore nya for the rest of his life at i-save sa inbox ng cellphone nyang dadalhin nya sa loob ng kabaong nya until death, at hindi nya pa rin buburahin yung reply ko till then kasi nga pagdating daw sa gate of heaven hahanapan ka raw ni san pedro ng isang text message from an atenean (imagine that, sa sobrang taas ng quality of education namin, pati heaven narating?). so ayun, instead of making galit to him, i told him na lang, “haha. congrats.”

i mean, we ateneans are really good when it comes to practicing sportsmanship. so ayun, instead of making puna his obvious na kayabangan about the championship, i accepted our defeat as a real man, as a real *ahem* atenean. but then of course friend ko naman yun kaya i also made biro to him. so sabi ko, “if i know, chamba lang yun.”

 

and do you know what he replied to me?! this is.. oh my god, so against the fourth commandment of the lord our god! sabi ba naman nya, “god is a thomasian.” imagine, he used the name of the lord our god in vain! sobrang bad talaga ng values education sa ust. i mean, kilala pa man rin daw sila as the oldest catholic university in asia ? with the pontifical chuchu whatever pa that they make attach to the university’s name if you’d check out their kulay dilaw-na-taeng website? *spit*

grabe, sobra na talaga yun. god is a thomasian?! that’s the biggest insult i’ve ever heard. papayag ka ba naman na ang god pala na sinasamba natin as the all-knowing almighty father, our only source of wisdom, ay isang pipichuging tomasino lang na hindi nakapasa ng acet? my golly, sobra na talaga.

 
 
 
grabe ang sama nitong baklang toh!!
for me…, i won’t feel anythng bad to that atenean. maybe that is his just opinion or conception about thomasians. with regard to everything that he wrote, it’s very apparent… he just came from an uneducated clan… he must be rich but truly absurd…
pls reply to this post…
i would really appreciate hearing your side…
thank you…sd

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it’s my birthday today

September 5, 2008 at 5:23 pm (Uncategorized)


whew!!! i just turned 17 this day… hehe… september 6… i am very much excited for what may happen during my day… i am looking forward to experincing things that would surely make me smile and happy… i only have 1 single wish for this day… i wiah to pass this semester and the succeeding semesters to come… hehe… i really wanted to finish my studies… un lng… at sna matupad…

haha…!!! this midnight is truly awesome… i knew something from my friend and i really appreciated what she has done because she opened up to me about a certain matter and i know that she has considered what would i feel towards it… i was really remembered by a friend… and i am very thankful for that…

saturday ngaun… laban na ng ADMU at DLSU… haha… my classmates would be watching there sa big dome… haha…

i’m happy and satisfied for my bday kc i’m with my family…

un lng and there is nothing i can wish for…

i’m just truly thankful… 

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Intrams Day

September 3, 2008 at 7:43 pm (Uncategorized)

University of Santo Tomas

University of Santo Tomas

Faculty of Arts and Letters

Faculty of Arts and Letters

My course started its annual sportsfest this week and so far my section had a game in basketball against another section but unfortunately, we got lost because of two points. Anyways, we are now about to have another game against 1LM1 and i am looking forward for our triumph. Hehe… I’m so excited for our players to win.

My day is quite tiring because we did watch the game and the place was suffocating because it’s tightly closed like a bottle. We were like being fried in a stove. It’s too hot but then, we enjoyed watching.

By tomorrow, we will be having oue third long quiz in my major Legal Management. Whew!!! I’m a bit puzzled because we did tackle a lot. And the form of the exam is essay. Challenging, huh….

One great thing that happened this day is when Dylan Abbabu, a player of the University of Santo Tomas in the UAAP BASKETBALL went to our class and some of us were able to take pictures with him. Haha!!! NAKAKATUWA… Almost all of the girls in our class are yelling because of him… Haha… weird but reasonable…

Anyways, it’s a great day for everyone. 

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